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being the change
July 2009 
Yup, my own hero
rudyan
This from Daniel Galipeau, a message in my inbox this morning:
Your hero is yourself.
I don't know anything about this site other than there is a scholarship application, and that it is a hippie peace and happiness for everyone type of website. I figured I would see what type of people are actually on this website.
Which brings me to the fact that you listed yourself as your hero, something I thought I was the only person egotistical enough to say.
I just want you to know that there is nothing more badass in the world than taking pride in the fact that you are a better person than everyone else.
Apparently 1294 other people have “me” listed as one of their heroes. I guess this place is full of egomaniacs.
***
Hi Daniel :)
I’m wondering, did you send this ‘badass’ message to the other 1293 ‘egomaniacs’ as well? Or did the universe lead your finger to click on my profile specifically? Did you happen to read my profile, my blog? Did you see much of the egomaniac there? Or is it just that you have this belief that seeing oneself as hero is egomaniacal?
Re I just want you to know that there is nothing more badass in the world than taking pride in the fact that you are a better person than everyone else. I’m sorry you have such a low opinion of yourself (I base that remark on the statement you make in the previous paragraph). And what makes you think we who are our own heroes think we’re better than everyone else? Could it be we are our own heroes because we have been through the wars and come out celebrating the I-am-ness of who we are?
Re hippie peace and happiness for everyone type of website. Unfortunately, that seems to be the direction gaia is taking. Under zaadz, we were more about being the change we wanted to see in the world (Gandhi’s words). I’d say that’s still true for a sizable number of us.
I wish you love and peace and light, not the stuff they put on show, but what lives and shines and can only be accessed from within.
Ruth
***
Daniel replied:
No need to be defensive. I think you are looking to deep into it. I just don't see people saying that they are their own hero very often. I don't see where you find that I have “low opinion of myself”. I think I made it clear that I am my own hero also. Nothing wrong with being a better person than everyone else and taking pride in it. As long as you realize that being better doesn't mean you deserve special treatment.
And yeah, when your only hero is yourself, then you really have an inflated ego. Doesn't matter what “wars” you have been through, if you think so highly of yourself to claim you are your own hero, then yeah, I don't see how anyone could say that isn't egotistical.
***
Me:
I'm saying that listing myself as hero has nothing to do with ego, or with thinking I'm better than anyone else. Quite the opposite. It has to do with knowing who I am, at core, without the facades. It has to do with where I came from and how I got to where I'm at. For you it may be different. It doesn't much matter, as far as I'm concerned. I don't really believe in better/worse, right/wrong, etc. Things, people, are what they are, each perfect in their own way. Why compare?
Which meaning are you taking for 'badass,' by the way? It's not clear from what you say in your original email.
***
Daniel replied:
FIne, you can tell yourself that being your own hero has nothing to do with ego, and I suppose it may by your definition of ego, hero, or whatever. http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/badass - Second definition is what I was going for.
***
I decided to leave it at that. At least I got clarification on the 'badass' definition...
Access: Public
teeheee… I have “myself” listed as my hero, as well. i know what all i've accomplished in this lifetime, and it's mighty impressive, at least to me it is. the fact that i'm still alive is impressive enough in itself! yeah, i'm my hero! and you're right, it's not because i think i'm better than anyone else, it's because i know me better than i know anyone else. :-)
and just maybe, all them folks who don't have themselves for their hero, maybe they just don't know how great they are!!
Oh rudyan-baby- You are my hero too! You groovy hippie chick you!
Hey Stacy, I'm with you all the way! Thanks for stopping by.
And Ayla, sorry, I flat out refuse to be anyone else's hero. As for hippie, well, yes I am, but perhaps not in the way you meant? :)
Hi Rudyan,
It occurred to me that you have to be a member of the website in order to email another member, so I typed in his name, and apparently he created a page with nothing on it except a name and the word, “No.”
My heart is my hero, and I will follow it anywhere it leads me, for I know it holds my truth. We understand what it means to be our own hero. However, just for Daniel's sake, maybe we can ask gaia if they can add an essence of patchouli each time a new page is opened, just to complete the hippie-ish experience.
Is there a way to report the email? I just wonder why someone would go to all that trouble to join gaia just to harrass you, or did he do it to others as well?
Andrea
Hi Andrea, yes, I noticed that too about his page. (I also noticed: “Daniel has many friends! 0 of them are here at Gaia.”) I don't know him at all, I think he must have just clicked on a member or an icon at random and I lucked out. :)
You know, I'm not sure he meant to harrass, it might be just a language thing, how it came across. We exchanged a couple of more emails after I posted this (maybe I'll add them to the blog later).
Thanks for your support.
rudyan,
I also think he was not trying to harass. He got here looking for a scholarship and found a community of people he couldn't relate to. So, his comments come from his world-view. For me, 'hero', is someone I'd like to be like. I've come to realize that what I'd most like to be like is myself. To want to be otherwise is to deny my uniqueness. (It's funny, I'm thinking, that my Gaia name is “Rumi Wannabe” – but what I meant by that is that Rumi's words open hearts and that is something I see my words do, at least sometimes. It is part of what is my uniqueness.)
He's young, as I once was.
Jim, I like how you put that:
I've come to realize that what I'd most like to be like is myself. To want to be otherwise is to deny my uniqueness.
And yes, about Daniel, as you say he's young. As we all once were.
Thank you for your words, your wisdom.
I was just playing with you rudyan.
That's what I thought, Ayla. I love your sense of playfulness…
hi rudyan. I agree with your definition of hero. That guy's response kind of surprised me. How old is he when you say young? I realize I am a hero, when I see myself for who i really am, I guess like Rumi guy, up there is saying. Down to the basics with no illusions, that is when I love myself the most. jen
Down to the basics with no illusions, that is when I love myself the most.
Well said, Jen. That's how I feel too.
I have no idea how old Daniel is, his profile page had nothing but his name and “No” next to Title. No picture or anything. I think he must have just joined. Looking for a scholarship, as Jim suggested, in which case I imagine he must be quite young.
Good Lord. Well that's what I said out loud when I read this interchange dear Ruth.
While Daniel might not have been trying to harass you, it landed pretty rude and 'badass' over here. I wish he might join the discussion here, or at least have a chance to explore the possibilities of 'communion' a little more. While I tend to agree with you that Gaia is not what it once was as Zaadz, it doesn't stop me wanting it to be…. :-) I thought you were amazing with him.
Love,
Sandra
It did seem rude to me at first, but after his second email it occurred to me that he might be using a different meaning for 'badass' than the more common one I assumed he meant, and that to him calling someone an egomaniac might be a sort of compliment (in the same way 'badass' might be considered one to some people).
I thought you were amazing with him.
This is verbal communication: He said what he said and I heard what I heard. My initial reply to him was more or less a gut reaction to what I heard, which it occurred to me later (from subsequent emails) may not have been what he said. I was able to back away enough to consider this, that's all.
On the internet there's only words to go by, sometimes photos and other words help. In this case there was simply a name and a title, 'No'.
As for gaia, it is what it is. And we are who we are. :)
He said what he said and I heard what I heard.
I love this! Yes.
And I did read the exchange a couple of times, realising that what Daniel said could be 'taken' a number of different ways! Facinating to me, and the whole issue of online communication is a subject I'm often 'involved' with. I have learned ( still learning ) to slow down and assume 'the best' in all cases, or if I can no longer do this, to back off and let go (and to take a look at my part in the process).
And, I've just re-read again (!) and noticed I missed his 'second definition' qualification. So… just proves my own point… sigh!
Love,
Sandra
Excuse my ignorance Ruth, but what exactly does 'baddas' mean. I've just looked it up in the English dictionary and it's not there. It was interesting to read all the feedback you received and I agree with what Sandra writes. But hey! what a wonderful and loving world it would be, if we did all love ourselves and see ourselves as a hero.
In Love and Light Thea
But hey! what a wonderful and loving world it would be, if we did all love ourselves and see ourselves as a hero.
Wouldn't it though!
Meaning of 'badass'? The source he quoted is here (second definition).
Nice to see you, Thea, thanks for stopping by.
Whoa, got yourself a hot thread going here. Gaia certainly has gone through a demographic transition, the average age is a bit younger now. I find myself smiling as I read some of the writing from our younger members. Earnest, passionate, misunderstood, rebellious, but reaching out. I would much rather deal with youthful antics than the fraudsters I get in my e-mail. “Send money” “Truuusssst me.”
sincerely;
An Old Hippie
Hey Phil, me too, any old day.
Rudyan,
I am so glad that you posted his other responses. When I read just te first one, it seemed very abrasive. However, by the third, I think he figured he had hit the wall with this. Maybe now Daniel will go to the Webster's Dictionary and look up “hero,” to see if it has more than one definition. I think you may have planted a tiny seed, Rudyan, and though it may lay dormant for a few more years, Daniel may wake up one day and understand. He might even remember a woman he exchanged emails with once upon a time.
“How can someone else be your hero if you have not yet discovered the hero in yourself?”
(a twist on how can you love someone if… my nonquotable quote of the day.)
“How can someone else be your hero if you have not yet discovered the hero in yourself?”
I really like that, Andrea. I might quote it sometime if it's all the same to you. :)
Oh..This was juicy. And spicy..And how come he landed in your email R, why did he hook onto your energy..? That is the question I would ask myself, and that is what potentially would make me vulnerable.. Hmm..Is it a test of integrity that is roaming the sky for the moment, with both jupiter and pluto in cap? (here I go again with my astroramblings, hehe)…Let me just say, that stuff is all about power vs powerlessness..
And on the other side, he is living his drama, with stuff stirring in his consciousness, battles to be fought, minds to challenge, until he too, hopefully, will learn abundance..I love it when stuff triggers…He learnt something..Great way to respond to the energy..i am not sure I would be that polite..
Neo-hippie hug from me (I am too young to be a hippie, my parents where that, so I am a neo-hippie..)
And how come he landed in your email R, why did he hook onto your energy..?
That is always the question, isn't it? I have a lot of fun with that in my life. Which isn't to say that my first reaction to what feels like attack isn't a gut one. The thing to remember is, if I feel attacked it's totally about me. If his intention is to attack, that's a different story (about him).
As I said above (in another comment), He said what he said and I heard what I heard. Remembering that the two are not necessarily synonymous helps me to step back and observe the interchange. From that vantage point I can begin to be authentic with the process, whatever process is happening after my first, gut response.