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anger
July 2009 
What is the best thing about anger?
rudyan
Hmm, I have run from anger most of my life. I have feared it in others, I have feared and fought against it in myself. But here’s the thing: Anger points me to places where little conflagrations of war still exist, in myself. Maybe in others too, but that’s really not my business.
Anger shows me that what I thought I had put behind me, I haven’t.
Anger shows me that what I thought I had accepted, I haven’t.
Anger shows me where I haven't taken responsibility for me.
Anger shows me how I really feel about what’s happening.
Anger shows me my deepest, most hidden fears.
So I say this:
Hurray for anger, because it shows me where I’m really at (as opposed to where I think I’m at, wish I were at, think I should be at, etc).
Hurray for anger, because it gives me a point of comparison so that I can map my progress on that blessed day when a particular trigger that used to ignite me every time, rouses only minimal reaction in me, or maybe none at all.
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I heard that anger was a sign that a boundary was violated. Well when I don’t actually give in to being pissed off I find it interesting to observe what the boundary is there to protect. If I get that far then I usually find what I was attempting to protect either doesn’t need to be guarded or it’s not really worth defending.
It’s amazing how much energy can be wasted defending things just because we always have or we were taught that we should.
Hey Doug, great to see you here!
I heard that anger was a sign that a boundary was violated.
Yeah, I heard that too, and I agree, we waste a lot of energy defending them. Boundaries, I think, are a way we have of defining ourselves when we don’t know who we really are. Where do I stop and you begin? Artificial, of course. When we discover we’re actually limitless, the whole notion of boundaries becomes meaningless, laughable. I mean, where would you put them, right?
How true…Anger shows me that what I thought I had put behind me, I haven’t…Anger shows me that what I thought I had accepted, I haven’t…Anger shows me where I haven’t taken responsibility for me…Anger shows me how I really feel about what’s happening…Anger shows me my deepest, most hidden fears.
Today, again, I have come up against things that I thought I had left behind, gotten over, accepted, what I hoped I had accepted and my angry response to something reminded me that it was not so. Looks like I need to go back and work some more.
Thanks for this.
You’re welcome, Gertie, and thank you for commenting.
I have to admit that my gut reaction to an angry response of mine is to cringe, cringe at my own anger, especially if it’s a vocal or gestural response to something somebody did or said. ‘I shouldn’t be feeling anger, I should be above it’, is so ingrained in me. The gratitude for what it’s showing me about me comes only on reflection. So far…
Great to see you here!